Kirkus Review

HOW NOT TO GO MISSING!
by Marian Hoy 

A clear-eyed safety manual that effectively urges vigilance without fear.

A former Dallas police officer provides a practical guide to staying safe. Hoy, who has trained more than 600,000 law enforcement professionals, draws on her extensive career to craft a practical, no-nonsense personal-security manual. It’s aimed at readers who’ve experienced sexual assault, abuse, or violent trauma, but will also aid anyone seeking to avoid similar harm. Overall, the book offers a grounded approach to navigating life with vigilance and confidence. Hoy covers various scenarios in which situational awareness can make the difference between security and vulnerability, from jogging at 5 a.m. to dining alone at night. Early on, she advises readers to inform a trusted person whenever they go out—providing details about their destination, their vehicle, and even their clothing. Hoy’s “Toolkit” approach emphasizes ways to assess any location via observation, location awareness, boundary setting, and noting strangers’ eye contact. Hoy reminds readers that danger rarely looks obvious; even a clean-cut, smiling person could be a threat. She also urges parents to foster awareness early; for teens, she says, the vulnerabilities increase—especially with the rise of social media and AI-generated extortion, involving fabricated images of teens in explicit or compromising situations. What sets this work apart is its clarity and immediacy; Hoy avoids alarmism, but she doesn’t sugarcoat realities of personal safety. Her tone is firm, direct, and appealingly empathetic, and the book’s consistent use of real-world situations makes the material highly accessible. Readers may find some of the advice familiar, but the Toolkit structure brings a freshness to long-standing safety practices. Overall, this book delivers more than caution—it offers control, which may be the most empowering tool of all.

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Original review can be found here.

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